Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash
I’ve never given a graduation speech and it can be a little intimidating the first time. But I came across some advice from an Irishman that relieved my nerves a little. He said,
“Commencement speakers should think of themselves as the body at an old-fashioned Irish funeral wake. They need you in order to have the party, but nobody expects you to say very much.”
But I do think I’m expected to say more!
PART 1: OPENING
Cicero said, “Completed labors are sweet”, and indeed they are. I want to join with all those around you today and congratulate you on your achievement. I offer the same to you parents. This milestone is your victory as well, and it has been years in the making. Life moves fast and today can be swallowed up in planning for tomorrow. That’s why I hope you are taking the time to soak up your accomplishments here today. I hope today is “sweet” indeed for student and parent alike.
However, in reaching this horizon you look out to see another one opened up. And something has to be said to you.
What should be said?
When I asked my wife Annie her advice was to say what I would say to our kids. But I realized pretty quickly that since my kids are 12 and under it wouldn’t fit, because I started writing things like: “Stop talking with your mouth full”, “Stop annoying your sister”, “Your underwear doesnt’ go on the outside of your pants”, “Don’t pee in the front yard and wave at the neighbor” and “Can you just please be quiet for once!” “Don’t ever do that in front of me again.” You can see how they’re not exactly life lessons, and not exactly inspirational.
So I trashed that page and started over. Let me offer a couple things for you and then get out of your way.
PART 2: LESSONS
(1) LIVE WITH COURAGE.
Courage has been called the chief of all virtues because for you to live by all the other virtues you will need courage. You may be honest but when you’re attacked for doing the honest thing you’ll need courage to ensure that you do indeed do the honest thing. John Adams told his son, “Place your honor out of reach of all men.” Have the moral strength to do what’s right no matter what the temptation and no matter what the cost.
When you know something is right but everyone else around you does not know it then you will need courage to stand on truth and not simply go with what the crowd thinks. I point you to the early church father Athanasius, who battled all by himself for the truth of Jesus Christ’s deity. When the emperor told him “Why Athanasius, don’t you know the whole world is against you?” Athanasius quickly snapped back, “Then I am against the world!” Courage!
Courage is what will make you unafraid of taking on a great challenge, unafraid of failure. Courage will also make you aim higher in life and not settle. Rick Rigsby’s dad told him: “If you aim high and miss I applaud you but if you aim low and hit I will be disappointed.” “I’m not worried you won’t succeed, I’m worried you will never fail.”
Courage will keep you from living a life of regret and self-loathing. It’ll make you respect the person you look at in the mirror. How you face adversity. How you face failure. How you face risk. How you face challenges. How you face life. How you face death. You will need courage.
(2) GO BEYOND “KNOWLEDGE” AND BECOME WISE.
Don’t settle for “smart” - there are a lot of stupid smart people. Go higher and get wisdom. You may learn how to design a building or teach philosophy or fly a plane or perform a heart transplant or successfully invest millions of dollars or invent the next tech that changes the world.
But IF you don’t know how to live righteously, IF you don’t know how to wisely choose who you marry, and make a successful marriage, IF you don’t learn that success is more about being better than your 2nd best than it is being better than the next guy, and IF you can make everyone else love you but not your own family, IF you don’t know how to stand for what is right and stand on your moral convictions no matter what the cost, how to handle setbacks and find in your failures your greatest personal growth, how to be content but still work for goals, how to have ideals while avoiding idealism, how to navigate difficult people and still love them, what to do with people who are not on your side, how to lead people, IF you never learn the skills of how to live your life so as to please God (aka, wisdom), then what have you done?
Elon Musk, the richest man in the world is doing some of the most exciting and out of this world things (literally). Yet, Elon Musk doesn’t know what it is all for. He says, “I’m just trying to figure out what we’re all here for.”
“Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom” Proverbs 4 says, “Though it cost you everything get understanding.”
Wisdom is knowing God, knowing how to live right in His eyes. This means learning the wisdom of others who discovered it. Stand on the shoulders of the wise who came before you to reach higher than they. Don’t build the same pedestal only to in the end stand as tall as they. Learn from those who came before you so that you can press further than them. Don’t make the same mistakes they did only to learn what they did. Take their hard-earned and painfully learned wisdom now and go make new mistakes to discover new knowledge.
Be humble. Let others blow your horn. They can’t do that if you never take your lips off it. Read biographies. Learn from the lives of everyone else around you and those who came before you. Decide that you will take something away from everyone you meet, everyone has something about them worth incorporating into your own life. Being you requires others.
Don’t be content with being smart. That would be dumb. Aim higher and become wise.
(3) MAKE FRIENDSHIPS A PRIORITY.
In this “social” media world where everyone is supposedly so “connected”, I urge you to emphasize friendships. Ancient philosophers placed friendship among the highest of life’s pursuits: the aged “Laelius” in Cicero’s imaginary conversation told his much younger audience “I can only urge you to rank friendship above all other human concerns.” Anyone who’s had a friend knows the treasure it is. Aristotle defined friendship as: “One soul inhabiting two bodies.” Proverbs 17 says, “A friend loves at all times…”
So I urge you to find your Jonathan and be his David. I love what was said of John Adams, our 2nd President, “Adams has a heart formed for friendship and all its finest feelings.” We would do well to form our hearts the same, and learn the lifelong art of friendship. Be a devoted friend. Be a wise pick for someone else who’s looking for a friend.
This requires you pick friends wisely, remembering that “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Cor. 15:33). You show your own foolishness by the fools you surround yourself with. The opposite is true too, “Good company improves good character” and therefore you show your wisdom by the wise you surround yourself with.
Illustration – In a British Zoo, 5 African Grey Parrots have had to be separated from their colony of over 200 other parrots. Billie, Eric, Tyson, Jade and Elsie are not allowed to be with the other parrots because of their bad language. The zookeepers were hoping that being in a colony would teach the birds different words and reduce the amount of swearing the birds were doing in front of visitors. But since the birds encouraged each other to keep swearing the zookeepers decided it was best to keep the birds away from the rest of the parrots who didn’t know how to swear. The director of the zoo said, “if they teach the others bad language and I end up with 250 swearing birds I don’t know what I’ll do.”
Who are your friends? Who are the people in your life that you allow to have the most influence over you? What kind of friend will you be? Where in your goals is friendship? Put it high.
PART 4: CLOSING
Live for today, but never live like there’s no tomorrow. Have ideals but don’t be idealistic. Push yourself, but go easy on yourself.
As I tell my kids: stand up straight, look people in the eye, give a firm handshake. Don’t wear your underwear on the outside of your pants.
There’s my speech. Now go and be better than me, better than your parents, and everyone else who came before you.